Recently my spiritual life has been up and down. Sometimes it gets very down even though outwardly I seem ok. It's too easy to turn up at Christian events and been seen doing all the right things even when you're heart is weak. A fake Christianity is easy to deploy because fake Christianity is religion-it's just doing stuff.
I'm not saying that I've lost my salvation, no. I'm saying that throughout this week I've been very consious of the enemys attacks from every angle. He's been tricking me and I've bought into a few of those lies. I've been left wounded, hurt and bleeding. As a result I lost my joy, peace, assurance, and purpose. I think God brings us to this place to humble us and show who is in control. He wants to re-affirm that without Him there is no purpose. Life is vanity without God. The most precious things that God has taught me came as an alloy with spiritual pain.
I know for a fact that if my salvation was down to me I would be deep in sin by now. At present I feel God holding onto me as a child who is about to run out into the road and get knocked dead by a stream of traffic. Actually He's holding us all If we're saved, we just don't realise it.
Thank God that He brings us to our knees (even if it hurts) so that we can grow, mature and rejoice afresh in Him.